5 Things to consider when planning to Marry...

I have seen so many divorcees of late and the reasons for their predicament or circumstance is not far fetched and it is even in our environment that these is going on. May do not sit down and assess themselves and their fiancee/fiance before getting eternally hooked to them. Here are five thing you should consider before either asking the Do you question or answering the question?

1. Marriage doesn't change anyone, You might pick the wrong person if you expect him/her to change after you're married. That is the greatest mistake anyone can ever do! NEVER MARRY POTENTIAL!! The Golden rule is , if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, “You actually can expect people to change after they are married……for the worst!”. So when it comes to the other person’s spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now and never expect a change!!!

2.  In marriage, you should be able to express yourself fully emotionally without fear or doubt. You are picking the wrong person if you choose someone with whom you don't feel emotionally safe with. Ask yourself the following questions: 

• Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? 
• Can I fully be myself and express myself with this person? 
• Does this person make me feel good about myself? 
• Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way? 

Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way! Are you afraid of this person in any way? You should not feel you need monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it, many people can get it wrong here because they might feel they don't want her to get offended or vice versa, love isn't like that. If you're afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there’s a problem with the relationship. 

3.  When planning to settle down, you need to ensure you are not under pressure because you have been both intimate sexually. You can choose the wrong person because you get involved sexually too quickly. This can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. intimate involvement tends to cloud ones mind. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions. It is not necessary to “test drive” in order to find out if a couple are sexually compatible. If you do your homework and make sure you are intellectually and emotionally compatible, you don’t have to worry about intimate compatibility. Of all the studies on divorce intimate incompatibility is never cited as a main reason why people divorce.

To be continued...

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